Reckless Surrender
by BrightSide of Nowhere
Summary: When Angel leaves Buffy faces something that she might not be able to defeat. Her own heart. Set after Graduation 2, Buffy's friends face the ultimate fear of losing their slayer to her pain and heartache. Spuffy
1. Chapter 1

She walked down the street, her heels clicking on the pavement. She began to speed up once he wasn't in view anymore. Running, she started running to catch him. The people on the streets watched in amazement at the pure speed of the girl. But she had to catch him. She turned the corner and ran right into him. "Damn it." She said as she started to fall back. She put her hands behind her and flipped over. She stared him right in the eyes. She couldn't let him leave without saying something, or trying to stop him for that matter. There had to be something that she could do.

"Go back home Buffy." He told her, staring her in the eye.

"No you can't leave me. Not like this. Not ever."

"You aren't going to stop me." He said. He turned on his heel, his black duster following him. She ran, got in front of him, and put her hand on his chest. She was crying now.

"Why are you doing this? Why can't you stay?" He looked into her eyes but quickly turned away. If he kept looking he'd never leave.

"I'm leaving because I want to." He said coldly. He knew that he was being mean, meaner then he felt. Inside his heart was breaking that he was leaving her like this. But she needed a normal life, a life without him.

"You can't want to leave me. And I don't care. I don't want you to leave Angel. You can't." Her tears were becoming more and more frequent now. He couldn't bear to see her in so much pain. But he had to be mean, if she hated him enough, the pain of him leaving wouldn't be so hard.

"Go home Buffy. Go back to your life without me. I don't want to be there anymore." He said coldly. Then he jumped onto a near by fire escape and followed the stairs up to the roof. Buffy started up at him and then shouted.

"You can't do this to me Angel." Angel said nothing, just stood there, waiting for her to leave. The pain that he felt was horrible, but it had to be done. Buffy turned on her heels and ran away, crying.

The Graveyard-

About halfway to her house, somewhere in the graveyard, she collapsed in pain. It was as if that whole world was coming down on her. Her heart hurt, so bad that she could almost swear that the pain was physical. "You're not going to be any bloody fun if ya don't stop cryin'." She heard his voice, but she couldn't bear to say anything to him. He came over to her and kicked her in the side. She swore but continued to cry. "Oh come now slayer." He said to her. "It's no fun if ya don't fight back." He told her.

"Go away Spike." She said to him through her tears.

"Oh come on slayer." He said with a smirk. "Can't I have a lil' bit of fun?"

"You're sire or grandsire or whatever just left me. I am in a pissed off mood and not someone to mess with."

"So Peaches thinks he's better than ya. Tell you that he wanted ya to have a normal life?"

"No. He just said he didn't want in my life." She said. She sat up, her back against a grave. Spike sat next to her.

"Any help Dru left me."

"Big surprise." Buffy said. "Sorry to say, but your girl's a hoe."

"Ya told me once before." He said. She smiled. How could Spike be all bad if he was willing to help a slayer? She looked over at him and he was drowning his sorrows in a bottle of Jack Daniels. She took the bottle from him and took a big swing. "Well now slayer. I never knew ya had it in ya."

"Yea well now you do." She said in reply and took another drink. Her tears had stopped but the pain, the feeling of now being totally alone, was still there.

"Oh come on slayer. Peaches isn't worth this. Bloody wanker wouldn't know a good woman if it hit him on the head. He did a right bad thing leaving ya, but take it like this. Least now you are better off without 'him. Ya can find you a really good guy, not some wanker that you can't even shag." Buffy had to laugh at Spike's last comment. It was true that she couldn't even be with Angel cause of his curse. She took another drink of the Jack Daniels and stared into space.

"You'll do better too you know. Nice looking vampire like you, I am sure you have vampire chicks lined up everywhere."

"Not really. I got something other vamps find bloody awful."

"What's that?" Buffy asked, interest rising in her.

"Love. I could love someone without a soul. Dru could too although it's safe to say that she didn't care much about me."

"Well see there you go. You'll make some girl very happy. I'm sure."

"Why so sure slayer?"

"Cause anyone can fall in love. Sometimes they don't care if the other person is a vampire or a slayer or something like that.

"Really love." He said, feeling the alcohol in his system. He slid over closer to her. She turned to him, staring him right in the face. "You could be with a vampire that wasn't Peaches?"

"I wouldn't go advertising it on the streets or anything. But if he could love me, then yeah."

"Most of 'em aren't like that. Most can't love you."

"But there's one out there that could." She was so close now that she could kiss him. "Angel left me cause he wanted me to have a normal life, but my life will never be normal. I am the slayer."

"Right love. You are the slayer. And any vampire would take advantage of ya and kill ya right now. You'd never know what hit ya."

"Why don't you then?" She said, getting closer till her lips almost touched his.

"If I knew, I'd tell ya. Ya got something about ya; something that makes me…" Spikes kissed her. She kissed him back, hungrily searching his mouth with her tongue. It was a kiss of raw passion, of lust, and maybe what could be the start of love. She melted into his kiss, bringing her closer and closer to his body. His touch, his cold skin on her warm skin, was thrilling. And the way that he touched her, it was not like Angel had. She pulled away to breathe.

"Let's get out of here." She said. He nodded in agreement. They both walked towards Crawford Street, stopping along the way for kisses. Falling into one of the upstairs beds, they let lust and passion consume them.

The Crawford Mansion-

When she woke up the next morning in Spike's arms, her first instinct was to reach for her neck. Surprisingly the vampire without a soul didn't feed off of her. He didn't even bite her, at least not with his vampire teeth. She got up slowly and began to get dressed, finding her clothes in various places around the room. "Do I trust that ya aren't goin' stake me?" He smiled that cheeky smirk that he had. She almost instantly wanted to go back over to kiss him. But she didn't. If she went back she couldn't blame the whole thing on Angel's leaving.

"No. Not today." She said. She knew that she would never be able to stake Spike, there was too much feeling there. Like the first time that she tried to kill Angelus. She just couldn't.

"Ya aren't going to leave me here. I've got no where to go. Bloody sun."

"This isn't a relationship Spike. Hell this isn't even going to happen ever again."

"Oh come now slayer. You can't say that ya honestly want me to just leave you alone."

"You can't honestly think that I would have done this if Angel hadn't left me."

"Then it's a very good thing for me that he did." Spike said. "I always knew that the only thing better than killing a slayer would be fucking one." That was enough for Buffy. She walked over to the bed, picked Spike up and threw him against the wall. "Hey love. I didn't mean it." She walked over to him and punched him in the face. "Come now love." He grabbed her by the waist and turned her around so her neck was at a better angel for him. He vamped out. "You wouldn't want me to bite, now would ya?" Her eyes got big and her heart beat faster. It was an exciting yet scary though.

"I'm not stopping you." She said, daring him to bite her. So he did, he leaned in and bit her neck, drinking her blood. She moaned in ecstasy at the feeling and then gasped when he pulled away. He spun her around and kissed her, moving until they had both landed on the bed.

"God slayer. Your blood is so… powerful." He said, kissing her neck and chest. "I feel so…" He kissed her again.

"I have to go Spike. My mom is going to worry."

"Right love." He said, turning over. "Will ya come see me again tonight?" She didn't answer him, just go up and walked to the door. Then she turned around.

"Yes Spike. I don't know why, but I will come see you again." She told him.

UC Sunnydale-

She wanted desperately to tell someone about what she had done. She wanted someone to tell her that it was wrong and that she should not see him again that night. Unfortunately she had no one to tell who wouldn't freak and tell Giles. Except Willow. She could tell Willow about what had happened. She found Willow on the campus. "How long do I have before Oz shows up?"

"I don't know." She said. "What's going on?"

"I slept with someone." Buffy said.

"What? Who Angel?" Willow said.

"No. Angel left last night and I went into the graveyard crying. I ran into Spike."

"YOU SLEPT WITH SPIKE!" She yelled. Buffy automatically hushed her.

"Shut up." She told her. Willow looked at her. "Yes I slept with Spike."

"Evil, soulless Spike."

"Yes."

"Wow." Willow said, sitting down on the bench. "Was it like with Angel?"

"Better." Buffy stated, looking away dreamily. "He wants to see me again."

"Do you think he will try to kill you?" Willow asked. Buffy pulled her hair back to expose the bite that she had on her neck. "He bit you?"

"No, well yes but I let him."

"Is this because Angel left?" Willow asked.

"I don't know. I just kissed him and then one thing led to another."

"Wow I can't believe that you did that."

"Did what?" Xander asked coming up to them.

"Nothing. I did nothing." Buffy said fast. "I just killed a vampire." Willow smiled.

"He gave her a hard time to." Buffy playful hit Willow.

"I got to go guys. Willow; remember that sometimes people make mistakes."

"Sometimes they make the mistake more then once." Willow said with a wink. Buffy smiled and then walked away. Screw college, she had to see Spike again.

"What was that about?" Xander asked Willow when Buffy was out of site.

"Nothing." She looked at him. "Nothing at all."

The Crawford Mansion-

Buffy found the old mansion held a lot more memories then she could handle. It took her several minutes to get over it and walked into it. Spike was sleeping on the bed. She smiled. It wasn't a relationship that they had. They had screwed once, and that was it. Yet she was back, watching the blonde sleep like she would Angel. So something about this whole thing freaked her out. But she figured that she might as well have fun. Spike was sleeping on his back and Buffy jumped on his chest. She placed the stake above his heart and pressed lightly. Spike's eyes flew open. "Damn it Slayer what the hell?" Buffy didn't say anything, just pressed the stake a little harder into his chest, careful not to impale him and kill him. "You going to stake me cause I bit you or cause I shagged ya. Cause I got to tell ya slayer, you weren't complain' about either one." Buffy threw the stake across the room and then smashed her lips against Spike's. She easily surrendered to him and let him roll her over and kiss her. "What made ya come back slayer?"

"I don't know."

"Well not complain'."

"I didn't think you would." She said kissing him again.

A/N: All right people... I'm back. I know it's been quite some time since I have updated my other Buffy story, but I was in a little bit of a writers block. However I have managed to finish another chapter and write this. It's the beginning of either a really good story or a really bad story. So it's up to decided. If you like, review. If you don't, don't review. That simple really. (lol a little bit of humor) Anyways enjoy and tell me what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy felt a little guilty that she had been lying to everyone but Willow for months now. Months of seeing Spike had caused her to become reckless and uncaring, the way that Faith had once become. It wasn't the lure of evil that was affecting her; it was the lure of love and power. She felt so many times like telling Giles or Xander, but she knew that they hadn't understood Angel and they defiantly wouldn't understand Spike. So she sat in Giles's apartment, holding the guilt and the secrets inside. "You don't think it is just a random vampire?" Buffy asked Giles hopefully.

"No. I think these are planned killings, I am quite sure of it."

"Well I do some patrolling tonight to see what I can find."

"Yes that would be quite helpful."

"You shouldn't go alone." Willow said fast. Buffy shot Willow a look but she held her ground. If someone didn't go with Buffy she would just go see Spike. Since Buffy first told Willow about Spike, Willow had grown concerned. Buffy wasn't messing with a vampire with a soul like Angel; she was with an evil vampire. She was with a vampire that still killed and fed. Spike could be using her till he could kill her.

"I will be fine."

"I'll go with you." She insisted to the blonde. Buffy nodded in agreement and the two left the house. Buffy turned to face Willow.

"Go home Willow."

"No."

"What?"

"If you don't find what is doing this then the world might end. You know one of those lovely apocalypses and stuff that you use to prevent."

"What do you mean use to? I still fight evil."

"No you don't. You spend all your time with Spike. Xander and I have been patrolling and staking vamps so that Sunnydale doesn't turn into an all you can eat town."

"No one asked you to do that." Buffy said coldly, walking away.

"What is wrong with you Buffy? Does Spike have this much influence on you, cause you are starting to remind me of Faith after she killed that guy." Buffy spun around and looked Willow right in the eye.

"It is none of your business." She told the girl and stalked off to see Spike.

Giles's House-

Willow turned and reentered Giles's house after Buffy was out of site. She couldn't stop Buffy without help. Thoughts swirled in Willow's head as she thought about the rouge slayer Faith, whose bad girl image turned out to be much more then that. Giles, Xander and Anya all looked at her strangely. "I thought you were helping Buffy tonight." Giles said to her. Willow looked at him.

"I need to talk to you." She said quietly. He nodded and they retreated upstairs to talk. Willow sat down and took a deep breath.

"What is it Willow?"

"It's Buffy." She said, finally feeling the weight of the burden go away. Giles looked at her.

"What's wrong with Buffy?" Willow breath out and then sat down.

"She had been seeing someone since Angel left and I think it is effecting her."

"Who has she been seeing?" Giles asked, taking her glasses off and cleaning them with a handkerchief.

"Spike." Willow said under her breath. Silence suddenly took over the room and then the sound of Giles' glasses hitting the floor.

"Spike." He said to himself. When Angel first came into the picture as Buffy's love interest, Giles felt a sense of being a bad watcher. Especially after Angelus killed Ginny. But at the end of it all Angel did have a soul when she fell in love with him. And he had helped them in several tough times. But Spike, although he had helped Buffy once, had no soul.

"Does she love him like she did Angel?" Xander stood at the door.

"I think so." Willow said. She wasn't really sure. "She doesn't really talk to me anymore. She's..."

"Distant?" Anya said. Willow nodded. "I've seen it before. The lure of love. Become what you think your lover wants you to be."

"What would Buffy think Spike would want her to be?" Xander asked.

"A vampire." Willow said. They all looked scared.

The Graveyard-

The graveyard was quiet. It had been for quiet some time. Word underground was that the slayer had taken up with a vampire. And not the one with a soul, but a real evil vampire. So every vampire in Sunnydale sat in wait for Spike to sire the slayer, giving them free range on the towns people of Sunnydale. But nothing had happened yet. Although that slayer hadn't been hunting as much as she use to, she was still killing vampires. Or her lackeys where. Marina was pissed. She had had a brief relationship with Spike before he left with Drucilla. She figured that he would come back to her, only to find him fucking a slayer. She walked freely into the crypt that Spike had taken over. He turned around to look her in the eye, thinking or hoping that it was Buffy. "What do you want Marina?" He said to her coldly.

"I want to know what a vampire like you is doing fucking a slayer."

"Well I guess I rather fancy her." He said, smiling at something that Marina didn't get.

"What's so funny?" She asked. He just smiled as the stake plunged through her heart and she dusted.

"Now I really should be upset that ya dusted one of my own." He said to her, smiling still.

"Yes well I guess I should be upset that you still feed off humans." Buffy said, walking over to him. He grabbed her by the waist.

"Only a little. I drink that nasty pig's blood..."

"And only feed on humans when you get the urge. And I only stake a vampire if one seeks me out."

"Compromise. The beauty to this relationship." He said, falling down on the bed and taking her with him.

"God to think that I am dating a vampire."

"You dated Peaches right?"

"Different. I don't fear him." Spike's eyes got wide. He flipped the slayer over.

"One, no one fears Peaches. Two, ya fear me?"

"Evil, soulless vampire remember."

"That hurts love." He said, getting off her and sulking over to a chair where he sat and flipped the television on.

"Oh come on." She said, grabbing a beer from the fridge and falling down on his couch. "It's not like your aren't proud of it."

"Well now that you mention it..." He smiled. "Naw it doesn't bother me. I'm not all evil, like what happens to Peaches when he shags someone. I still have enough soul to love you. Don't know why I do."

"And you think I know why I love you." Both stopped what they were doing. It was the first time that they had ever said that. "You love me?"

"Ya love me?" He said in response.

"Fuck. How did that happen?"

"I don't know slayer, but it's your fault."

"My fault. I think you have me under a spell Spike."

"I never told ya to kiss me back. I came there to kill ya."

"Well I was upset. You took advantage of..." Spike had move and kissed her to quiet her.

"Do we care? Do you honestly find me so repulsive that ya couldn't love me."

"I should ask you that same thing."

"I can love ya if you can love me."

"All right. Then I guess I can love you." She smiled and brought Spike closer for another kiss.

The Car-

Angel came back to Sunnydale as fast as he could. Despite everything that he had done to Giles, despite leaving Buffy and being the most probable cause for her problem, Giles had called him when he didn't know what else to do. So Angel, Cordelia and Wesley all took the trip down to Sunnydale. Angel filled them in on what was going on and the car ride down was more torture than his soul. "So you mean that Buffy's fucking Spike. Evil Spike."

Angel looked at her. "Could you please not say that?"

"Well this is quite a upsetting turn." Wesley said. "After the lose of Faith..." He chocked up a little at the memory of his failed attempts to be her watcher. "We seem to be well on our way to losing the other. The council will not be pleased."

"She isn't lost." Angel said.

"At least not yet." Cordy said. Angel shot both of them a look to shut up. Cordelia felt trapped in the small quiet car and was grateful that she had reached the house. She ran out and hugged Xander, without so much as a thought about the past. She broke away fast and smiled weakly as Anya made her way over to Xander, placing her arm around his waist.

"Are we to late?" Angel asked Giles.

"We don't know." He replied honestly. "Her mother is inside. She hasn't seen her in days." Angel looked at the man, his eyes filled with pain.

"Don't blame yourself." He told him. He walked inside to find Joyce on the couch. He grabbed a stake and headed out without another word.

The Crypt-

Angel busted into the crypt. He found himself enraged to see her in bed with Spike, screaming his name. After the wave of her orgasm ended she looked over and suddenly got really embarrassed. "Spike." She said. He got off her and looked at Angel.

"Why hello there Peaches. Been a long time."

"To long." He said, lunging at Spike with the stake.

"NO!" Buffy screamed, sending a kick to Angel's stomach making him miss his target. Angel hit the floor. Once he sat up a little, Buffy finally spoke. "What the hell is wrong with you? Do you just barge in on people whenever you want?" She said as she put Spike's shirt over her and as Spike put his leather pants on.

"Since when is he a person?"

"Since when were you?" Buffy asked sarcastically. "I am still a person and I still have rights. So barging in when someone's in bed, not something that you should do."

"Since when do you screw vampires?"

"I screwed you didn't I?" Buffy said coldly. Spike let out a laugh.

"She's got ya there Peaches." Angel shot him an angry look. "Oh I am scared. Peaches here is going to give me angry looks till I die of looking at his face." Buffy laughed.

"What are you doing here Buffy?" Angel asked.

"Well until you came I was screwing my boyfriend."

"You are aware that he has no soul?"

"Yea. Don't bother me."

"That's right Peaches. So move along, nothing to see here." Angel lunged at Spike again. Buffy tackled Angel, and grabbed the stake from his hands. She placed it above his heart.

"Buffy think about what you are doing."

"Will you leave?"

"Never." She move the stake and impaled him, barely missing his heart.

"Now will you leave?"

"No!" Angel said.

"Then let Peaches stay love." Spike said taking Buffy's hand and pulling her up off Angel. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "I don't care. Got to say thought love, bloody hot as hell watching ya stake him..." He looked at Angel pulling the stake out. "Even if ya did miss." He kissed her ravenously and she returned the kiss. Angel felt disgusted, as something had crawled inside him and was eating him from the inside. Buffy pulled away from Spike and smiled at him. "Love ya slayer."

"Love you to." She told him. Angel almost laughed, instead he coughed.

"He can't love you, he has no soul." Angel said. Spike walked over to him, punched him in the face and held the stake at the level of Angel's heart.

"Love her more then you ever will."

"Don't make any bets on that Spike. We all know how you hate to lose. Especially to me."

"Better stop Angelus."

"I could get her back if I wanted, just give her time. Like Drucilla, she will forget all about me leaving and come back to me, leaving you to your own self." Spike took his free hand and smacked Angel. Then he held the stake and got ready to thrust it into Angel's heart.

"Say goodbye to her on last time Peaches. You'll never get another chance." Angel looked at Buffy. She knew that it was time to save him. Although she would much rather let Spike stake him. "Whatcha lookin' at? Ya think she's gonna save ya." He laughed. "Oh ya do." He turned and motioned Buffy to him. "So what's it gonna be slayer. You wanna save him or let me make everything right after the bastard left ya." Buffy looked between the two men.

"If you stake him, it will not be for me." Buffy said. "Don't make that mistake. You are still evil Spike and all this caring and love that we have between us could just be passion. And passion is a flame that dies out. You don't care that he left me, you just care that he seems to be able to drive your girls away from you. So if you stake him now it's for you, not for me." Spike looked at Buffy.

"No." He said. "If I stake him it is because I am sick of seeing him hurt people that I care about. If I stake him it will be defendin' you. Because he left ya, made ya cry and drove you to take up with the likes of me." Spike said and Angel could see in his eyes and hear in his voice, there was sadness and a genuine care for Buffy. Spike dropped the stake. "Take what ya came for, if she'll go with ya that is." Angel let himself lose of Spike and walked over to the crypt door. He turned to look at Buffy, expecting her to go with him.

"I'm not coming with you Angel. It's not cause of Spike either. It's cause you think that you can keep saving me, like some goddamn knight-in-shining-armor. But you can't save me anymore. You left me and now I want you to stay away." Angel looked at her one last time before leaving. Spike grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"Bar."

"I'm not done talking to you. Why is it you all say what you want to say and then leave, not giving me a chance to talk?"

"What's goin' to be slayer? Gonna tell me that Peaches was right, that I'm just a monster? Cause I gotta say, I knew that one. Ya gonna tell me that it's finally over? Trust me love I've been waitin' since this all started for ya to tell me that one. To wake up and realize that I am a monster. Didn't think it'd hurt this much, kinda thought I'd kill ya when ya told me. Instead I feel this need to drink." Buffy just kind of stared at him. "Not in the blood sense of course." He turned to leave.

"Spike."

"Don't do this slayer." He said, turning again to face her. "Don't try to tell me that I'm not the monster that Peaches says I am. He made me what I am. He taught me all there was to learn. So don't tell me I'm not a monster, cause I am. And what's worse is I really do love ya slayer. That doesn't make me less of a monster, it just makes me a danger to ya."

"Did you ever think that I what that danger in my life?" She was crying now, knowing that he was going to walk away from her. Her heart felt like someone was squeezing it, the same way it had felt months ago when Angel left her. "Did you ever stop to consider what I wanted? No. You are just like him Spike, just ready to get up and leave me without thinking about what I want. I am not a damn little girl anymore and I can fucking make up my mind without you doing it for me." All of what she had said sunk in. But he was running towards her before she finished. He slammed her up against the wall and vamped out.

"I'm not like him." His anger was building and she could feel it.

"Then why are you leaving me like he did."

"I'm not leaving ya slayer. I can't do that." He let her go and walked away. He would turn around though. "But you can leave me. Ya can get a right good guy, not some monster."

"Why do you say that?"

"That's what I am." He said, turning around and looking at her. He was still vamped out.

"No." She said coming up close to him. She took her finger and traced the bumps on his face, then brought it down and traced his lips. "You stopped killing mostly. You protected me and loved me." She kissed him. "You love me, more then Angel ever did."

"I don't deserve ya slayer." He said with sadness, his normal face returning. "Ya been hurt to many times, I don't want to be the cause of ya crying."

"You think me leaving is going to be better. I couldn't feel when you told me to leave you. I could never do that Spike. For some odd strange reason I did fall in love with you. I can't change that anymore then you can."

"You'll get hurt."

"I can live. Slayer strength makes me heal fast."

"Your watcher and those bloody slayerettes ya have, even your good ol' mum, isn't gonna approve."

"Since when do I care?" Buffy said.

"And ya got to stop this whole being bad act. Ya got to start caring about this world, fighting that big bads and all."

"All right." She said. He leaned down and kissed her.

"You go tell Peaches whatever lie ya want, but don't ya lie to the others. They have to know."

"Got it." Spike turned and walked towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"I got to get me somethin'. Might take a while since it's a long way away." She came over to him and kissed him ravenously. He returned her kiss and then pulled away. "I'll be back slayer."

"Be careful Spike." He put his jacket on and walked out the door. Buffy walked to opposite way and ran right into Angel.

A/N:

Sup people? Well this is the second installment in my Buffy/Spike story here. Bet some of you were hoping that I made Spike stake Angel. I almost did it too. Anyways this is kind of like the end of the season where they are all in love and everything(but its season 4), but it's going to have some surprise twists in it and a very unexpected person added into the mix. Hope you enjoy.


	3. Chapter 3

Spike hadn't been seen for weeks. Buffy was getting more and more depressed. She had fought for the right to love him, she had fought all her friends and family swearing that he was a good man (well vampire) and that he loved her, but he was gone. She hadn't heard anything from him since he had left. Buffy was getting pissed and she was taking it out on everyone who even thought to cross paths with her about Spike. She had chewed out Giles, who insisted that Angel was a special case and that she crossing a line. She had stopped speaking to Xander who had dared to call her a vampire-lover. She had annihilated Willow because she didn't completely agree with her. The only people who seemed to really be okay with her and Spike was Dawn and her mother. It was strange that the two didn't mind, but she took what she could get. She walked into her dorm room that she shared with Willow and crashed on the bed. Luckily Willow was out, she didn't want to fight with anyone at the moment. She grabbed the remote to her stereo and was about to hit play when Willow stumbled in. She was holding her right arm, blood seeping through the spaces between her fingers and fell down on the bed. "Willow!" Buffy said worried. Xander and Oz walked in behind her. "What happened?" She directed the question at Oz, the only one in the entire group who had no opinion on the Buffy and Spike saga.

"We didn't see, we found her like this." Oz said.

"It..." Willow said really quiet and broken by her struggle to breath.

Xander had grabbed the phone and was calling 911. "Hi. Yes it's an emergency. My best friend, she's bleeding." He waited while the operator said something. "No I don't know what happened to her. Me and her boyfriend found her." The operator said something. "We are at the Sunnydale University." He gave the name of the hall and the dorm. The operator said something else, but Xander had turned to the others. "They have a ambulance coming." He told them.

"What happened Will?" Buffy asked her, forgetting that they were somewhat fighting and even more so that she was fighting with Xander. "Xander get a washcloth and wet it." She told him. She looked down at Willow, hoping that she would help her understand what happened. But Willow was unconscious. "Oh my god, Willow." Buffy said. She had blood all over her hands, her shirt and her skirt. And it was Willow's blood. It was all over the carpet and all over the bed. Buffy felt sick and had to step away from her. The paramedics came bursting through the open door and asked Oz and Xander to step away.

The next few hours were a blur for Buffy. After the paramedics took Willow away; Xander, Oz and herself drove over to the hospital. They called Giles and her parents. Buffy propped herself up against a wall, turning over and over in her head what could have had happen to Willow. Or worse, what had yet to happen to her. She had been in surgery for hours and Buffy was so upset. If Willow didn't make it then she would always remember that she was mad at her before she died. Buffy didn't realize that she was crying until she felt an arm around her. She turned and Xander was standing next to her. She melted into his arms, letting him carry just a little bit of her pain. "I'm so sorry. You have the right not to like him, so did Willow. I love you guys."

"We know." Xander said. He didn't apologize for what he had said about Spike, but he could apologize for the bad things he said about Buffy. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean what I said about you."

Buffy just smiled at him and let him hold her. Five more minutes of crying passed before Buffy saw the doctor heading towards them. She ran over with Oz, Xander, Giles, and her parents. The doctor had blood all over him and Buffy held fast to Xander and Oz. "She lost a lot of blood." The doctor began. Every word he said was making Buffy feel worse and worse, as if she knew that he was going to say something bad. "We did all that we could do. She's fine and we stopped the bleeding, but she is in a coma." Buffy fell to the ground sobbing. Oz stood there, trying to hide that he was upset, but suddenly he was crying. And Xander and Giles were crying as well, although all of them made it to a seat. But Buffy sat on the floor, drenched in her friend's blood, crying over her friend.

Spike came busting through the door. He could smell the blood going up to Buffy's dorm. Although he hadn't been invited in, the door was open and the blood on the bed and carpet were easy to spot. He followed the slight trail to the hospital and asked about the U.C. Sunnydale student that was brought in. He burst through the door, knowing that it wasn't Buffy but knowing that it was someone close to her. He found Giles, Xander, and that quiet guy that Willow dated sitting and crying. There were two people that he didn't know, but he was only focused on Buffy. She was sitting on the floor of the white room, drenched in blood. She was crying hard and he was hoping she was okay. He ran over to her and grabbed her close to him. He didn't care that his blood lust was going insane from the blood on her. He only cared about her.

"Spike?" She said when he reached her.

"It's me love. I'm here." He picked her up and sat in one of the chairs with her on his lap. She had her head against his chest and her crying hadn't stopped yet. "What happened?"

"Willow." Buffy said.

Spike didn't say anything else. He knew how close the two were and how upset she was. He just held her, stroking her hair, and thought. Buffy was covered in blood as was Oz and Xander. Plus adding the blood in the room he knew that Red had lost a lot of blood. He held Buffy close to him and didn't even notice that no one in the room seemed to think that him being there was strange.

Buffy sat at Willow's bed side. She had left Spike in the waiting room, not knowing how her friend would feel about him being there. She looked down at Willow and was almost sick. Her former quirky friend was pale and almost... lifeless. There were tubes and things stuck in her and she was hooked up to a heart machine. She didn't look like Willow, she looked like someone else. Buffy took Willow's hand. "Hey Willow." She said. "The doctor told me to talk to you. He said that maybe it would take you out of the coma, that maybe you can hear me." Buffy was choking up and she knew that she wouldn't be able to control the tears. "You got to wake up Willow. I still have to apologize about being such a bitch to you. Plus if you ever thought that Oz had no emotions, you'd be wrong. There's so many people here that care for you that you have to come back." Buffy was crying harder. "We need you Willow. I need you." She let go of Willow's hand, got up and kissed her forehead. Then she walked out the door and straight out the hospital into the night air, Spike at her heels. She kept walking, ignoring the questions that Spike was sending her way. She had to find out was happened to Willow before the sun came up. She broke into a run towards the school and stopped in front of her hall. "Spike!" She yelled at him. She turned, expecting to see him a little farther away. Instead he was right behind her.

"Yea slayer?"

"Can you pick up the scent of her blood?" She asked him. He nodded and walked off. Buffy followed. They kept walking until he stopped. Sitting on the ground was a knife. Buffy bent down and picked it up. It was the same knife that she had use to stab Faith with. She brought herself up slowly, facing Spike.

He looked at her eyes. She was so mad and she knew who had stabbed Willow. "What is it?" She asked her.

"Faith." She said with a hateful look.

"You called?" Spike shot a look towards the voice. A dark-haired girl walked out. She was a slayer, the rouge slayer. He had heard about her, rumors mostly. Heard that she had killed a guy and turned bad. He turned back to Buffy and had enough time to watch her lunge at the other slayer with the knife. Faith moved to one side and Buffy stopped dead in her tracks. "I love the welcome party." She said. Buffy threw the knife, which Faith caught in her hands. "Ohh look, now I have the pretty knife." Spike watched the dark-haired girl lunge at Buffy, who kicked her in the stomach and punched her in the face. Faith threw the knife aside and began a hand-to-hand fight with Buffy.

"Why'd you do it Faith? Worried that you'd lost your bad ass edge."

"No. It's payback Buffy and Willow got in the way." Buffy sent a high kick to Faith's chest, who flew and hit a tree. Buffy grabbed the knife and went over to the other slayer lying on the ground. Spike stepped in and grabbed Buffy before she could stab the other slayer.

"Let me go Spike!" She yelled.

"No slayer. She's human." He held her back as the rouge slayer got up.

"That didn't stop her from jamming that knife in my gut. Or killing the only man that ever cared for me." Faith said.

Spike let Buffy go and grabbed the slayer by the throat. He vamped out and stared at the slayer. "I can't let her kill you. But I can." He said with anger.

"Oh that's rich. Not only did you have Angel wrapped around your little finger but you've recruited another vampire. This one have a soul too?"

"It wouldn't matter. I'd kill you either way." He growled.

"Right. Let me guess, you love her right?" Spike didn't answer. "Oh that's rich, he's just like Angel only stuck in the eighties." She shot a look at his leather coat, bleached-blonde hair, and Billy Idol smirk.

Spike tightened the grip on Faith's throat and took her away from the tree, only to slam her back against it. "Scream for me." He said with a growl. Buffy had recovered from her encounter with Spike.

She stood next to him. "Let me kill her Spike."

"No slayer. She isn't getting killed, at least not by us." He had heard the police sirens way before they did. Faith squirmed and tried to break away.

"Come on Buffy. Kill me and try to make it all right." Faith was getting into her head and she was loving it.

"Spike..." She made is name drip with anger, made it sound so harsh.

Spike cast his eyes to her. "No Buffy. You have no right to past judgment on humans."

"She isn't a human, she's a slayer." Buffy had said the words before she could catch herself. She sunk down to the ground, looking away from the two solemnly.

Once the police got there and Spike could let go of Faith, he sunk down next to Buffy. "You didn't mean it Buffy." He said.

Buffy, who had been zoned out for the past few minutes, looked up at him. "I did mean it Spike. I meant that I could kill her because she was the slayer, that she wasn't human." She turned away from him.

"Look at me." He said, vamping out. She turned to him. "I'm not human. Red's a witch, Xander's girl is an ex-demon, and Red's guy is a werewolf. And this life we live, it ain't exactly normal either." His face changed back and he looked right into her eyes. "I'm no Angel and I get that." He said to her. "And I know that I never could be. But I love you and I can't stand ya to be upset. That's why I went off and got ya something."

She looked at him confused. "What took you weeks to get?"

"Look at me."

"I am."

"No." He said, grabbing her arms and pulling her closer. "Look at me."

Buffy stared deep into eyes. She remember once doing this with Angel, staring in his eyes. It was just like with Angel. Just... like... Angel. "Oh my god!" She said, covering her mouth. She touched his face and kissed him. "Why?"

"You deserved better then a soulless monster." He said to her.

Buffy sat on the edge of Willow's bed side. She grabbed a hold of her hand. "Hey Willow." She said. "You got to wake up. There's so much that happened. Spike went off and got a soul for me. And Faith's been locked up. If Spike hadn't been there I would have killed her." She was tearing up a little. "He saved me Willow, from killing someone who was human. He loves me Willow and I love him. I just hope that everyone else will see that." She smiled. "But enough about me. You got to wake up. I miss you... that way that you always made even my worst day better. I love you Willow. You're my best friend." Buffy walked towards the door. As soon as she turned the knob she heard the word...

"Buffy."

It was so weak that Buffy almost didn't hear it. "She's awake!" Buffy yelled. She ran back over to Willow as Xander, Oz, Giles and her parents came in the door. But Willow's eye had closed again. Suddenly there was a flat line on the heart monitor and nurses where kicking them out of the room.

A/N: I know that this is evil to put in a cliff hanger like that but it had to be done. Anyways I will try really hard to update this soon... but reviewing might hurry me up. ;)


	4. Chapter 4

As they all sat in the waiting room of the hospital, Buffy sat with Spike. The first time that Spike had shown up and comforted Buffy, no one had paid attention. All of them were wrapped up in their pain. But this time was different. Everyone one was on edge about Willow and they were all angry that someone so sweet had to be put through this. Spike was just sitting there and holding Buffy as she cried, when Xander walked into the room. He had rushed to the bathroom before returning to the waiting room and Spike had arrived while he was gone. As soon as Xander saw him, he flipped. "What the hell is he doing here?" Xander said.

"I got just as much right as you to be here." Spike said.

"Like hell you do."

Buffy stopped crying and looked up at Xander. "He isn't bothering anyone Xander. We are all upset but you have no right to take it out on Spike."

"You have no right to bring him here." Xander said.

"I didn't bring him here." Buffy said. "He came to help me get through this."

"Leave!" Xander said, ignoring Buffy's statement.

Spike let go of Buffy and stood up in Xander's face. "Make me." Xander threw a punch to Spike's face, but Spike easily dodged it. He spun around and stood behind Xander. Xander turned to face him. "Missed." Xander threw another punch, this time his fist connected with Spike's jaw. Spike hit him back, sending him flying across the room.

Buffy stood up and held Spike back from the now bleeding Xander, who was fast approaching. "Stop it!" Buffy yelled. Giles, Oz and Willow's parents watched them. "Willow is in there and she could be saying and all you care about is who's here to comfort me?" Buffy said, meaner then she meant to be.

"How dare you!" Xander said. "She was my best friend long before you ever came here." He said. "I am worried about her too. But I don't think it's respectful to have some evil, soulless vampire here."

"What makes you think that I don't care what happens to Red? If it affects Buffy then it affects me." Buffy shot a look at Spike as he said the sweet words. It pulled at her heart.

"You are pathetic." Xander spat.

Buffy turned on her heels suddenly. She felt the hairs of her neck step up, yet it wasn't anything supernatural. The doctor was heading towards them. Buffy, although reluctant to leave Xander and Spike alone, ran over to him. "Is she okay?" Buffy asked. Spike came over to her and took her hand. Xander, Giles, Oz, and Willow's parents were behind them.

"I'm sorry. She's had slipped back into a coma." He said. Buffy could feel the tears coming. "There is something more that you should know." The doctor said. "We lost Willow for several minutes. Although there was no brain damage, we have no idea how to tell what she went through. Some people come back from near-death experiences enlightened and more grateful for life. Others come back bitter and depressed. This is all depending on if she wakes up." The doctor said. "I'm terribly sorry." He said and walked away. None of them knew what to say; none of them could imagine what Willow had been through.

_It was dark in here. She was scared but she knew that she had to keep walking. She had been wondering through this place for hours, unable to tell where it was that she walked. She thought it might be a dream, but it felt like so much more then that. She had seen Buffy once, then a bright light as if to tell her that she would be okay. But as she reached the light, she was pulled, back into the darkness. So here she was again, wondering through the darkness, unable to know where to go. She kept walking and wondering until suddenly the ground gave away and she was falling. Faster and faster she fell, gravity pulling her down towards something. Something bad. She couldn't see it but she could feel it. What waited down there for her, ready to eat and devour her? And there was nothing she could do. She wasn't like Buffy, the super girl who could get herself out of anything. She was just plain old Willow. Even though she knew magick, she was no where near strong enough to help herself. She was going to die and she knew it._

Suddenly it was light and she was on solid ground. She stood before Faith. "How ya doing Willow?" Faith said in her I'm-gonna-hurt-you voice. Willow backed away slowly, hoping that however she got in here she could get out that same way. But they were locked in, no doors or windows at all.

"Leave me alone Faith."

"See I can't do that." She said, walking around Willow like she was hunting her. "You got me in trouble and B had me all locked away."

"Good." Willow spat. "You deserve it."

"Now, now Willow." Faith said. "You should be a little nicer to the slayer that can kill you." She walked closer to Willow. "And I will you know." She whispered with hate in her voice. Faith walked away from her and turned to face her. "You know it would be better if I did." Faith said, sitting on a desk that suddenly appeared. "It'd make Buffy's job a lot better. Not having to watch you and make sure that you don't get hurt." Faith smiled. "She isn't doing a very good job."

"You were waiting for her weren't you?" Willow said.

"Yeah. Got you and pissed Buffy off. If it weren't for that damn vampire I would have won. She would have killed me and then felt what it was like." Faith jumped off the desk. "To feel that power, to know that you are so much better than everyone else is, it's something that you don't forget easily. B's to stuck-up to see that slayers are better then the rest." She smiled.

Buffy watched Willow toss and turn in her coma state. It was unsettling to her and she reached for Spike's hand. She didn't leave him in the waiting room this time, afraid of what would happen with him and Xander. Buffy stared at the redhead. In between the times that she whimpered or cried, she almost seemed at peace. But it was all the other times, when she whimpered, when she cried, when she tossed and turned, that seemed abnormal. Willow started whimpering again. Buffy grabbed her hand. "Willow?"

_Deep down in her she felt that something was wrong. But she stood in front of two doors. She knew what they lead to... one lead to waking up and the other lead to her death. But she didn't know which one it was. **Willow. **She heard Buffy's voice, although it didn't come from the Buffy in front of the door. She felt a hand take hers, but there was none there. "You're in a coma." A figure appeared beside her. A leather-clad Faith was standing next to her._

"What?" She asked.

"I stabbed you. Do you remember?"

"Yes." Willow said.

"I put you in a coma." Faith said. "It's pretty funny." She said with a chuckle.

"Is that where the voice is coming from?" Willow asked. She heard Buffy say something else. **Come on Willow. You gotta wake up. I miss you so much. **Willow could feel herself tearing up. "I miss you too Buffy. I'm trying to wake up."

Faith laughed. "Don't get all teary on me now Will. You got some deciding to do."

"How can I hear her? Feel her?" Willow asked.

"You aren't dead." Faith said with a laugh. "When I was in a coma I could hear and feel some things while I was taking my trip."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I thought it was obvious." Faith said, slightly annoyed.

"Pick a door." Willow said.

"It isn't just that Willow. One of those doors led to freedom, to lead to the people that you love." Faith said with a sad look on her face.

"He wasn't there when you woke up." Willow said, remembering that they had killed the only man that ever loved her.

"No he wasn't." She said.

"How do I choose?" Willow said.

"You look inside yourself." Faith said looking at her. "You have to trust that fate will help you choose." Faith smiled. "Have Faith." She said with laugh before disappearing. Willow looked right at the doors. She closed her eyes and spun around. Then she just walked over and opened the first knob that she felt.

A/N: Well I know that another cliffhanger is here. But I am so blank about what to write next... whether or not I should kill Willow off or not. So I'll update soon.


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